A treasure lies herein. It trains both mind & body into profound levels of relaxation. In this practice, one finds new depths of being and new abilities. I have written this for two types of people: those who wish to increase their mind-body connection, and for insomniacs looking for a fix:

Mind-Body
The practice is simple – and if you follow the path, you can arrive at the very junction of mind and body. You can watch them interplay and interact. Each layer down attunes you more and more to the subtlety that is our body. We can begin to hear the messages our body has been sending us to our great benefit. And we begin to truly get to know ourselves by being directly involved in the hidden responses of our unconscious, like how an intimate friend now shares their secrets.

Just like some people hold bodily postures that are obviously going to stress and break them over time (especially when loaded with weight), so too not everyone holds their consciousness the same. Olympic weight lifters study the science of carrying physical loads. Curiously, to carry Olympic level loads of emotions and stress, mental softening/relaxation is the way. In my experience, The Softening Squeeze can be a great preventative to many of the issues people come to me to fix.

Insomnia
This technique creates sleep, both in the moment and as a long-term trait the body develops. Many insomniacs have told me they’ve fallen asleep on their first attempt, only getting to the 3rd finger. Others sleep still somewhere on the first hand. Reports of the second hand are the minority.

If the insomniac’s problem is that their conscious is on too strong, this solution directly addresses that. It’s not enough to relax the body. The mind must learn to specifically soften and relax. You can soften into stillness as you immerse into the body. At some imperceptible moment, you immerse further right into sleep.

With regular practice, profound mental relaxation becomes an easy skill and one can slip easily right into sleep. Then that quality becomes grafted into your being and biology as a long-term trait.

How to Approach this Practice
Approach it as a thing unknown each time and be open to experience how it wants to manifest that day.  Be delighted in discovery.  This is subtle work . . . at first.

Go in without expectations, especially if you are an insomniac looking to sleep.  Don’t look *for* sleep as that makes it less likely.  Expectations can rouse the body emotionally both if you are meeting the expectation or a bit behind. Go in looking to learn your unique individual pathway into your depths, into immersion.

If you feel like you don’t have immediate success, you are doing just fine. You are almost certainly progressing but may not be attuned enough to notice just yet. Keep softening. At some point it will be undeniable. Keep in mind that some start this practice much further away from their body than others, and that may have actually been beneficial to develop at a turbulent time in one’s life. You can always give me a call and we can pop the hood to find out what’s going on so you can enjoy success much quicker.

Let’s Begin The Softening Squeeze!

(Step #1): Choose a thumb, whichever you are more aware of. Squeeze it (bend it) with all you got. 100% force! Wait a short bit, then release it fully on the out-breath. Now, rest for a breath or three. Repeat this step 3x.

Laying down is best. If you sit or stand, you’ll have a lot of muscle activation all over the place just trying to keep you upright. For many, their mind is so distant from their body that they remain unaware of these specific muscles. Just think, might they have prevented a back injury in their life if they spotted the precursors to it (tension, misalignment, or other disharmonies)?

How long you should you squeeze? For starters, count to 3 really slowly, then release. At some point in your practice, the counting is far too much conscious activation, taking away from the state you’re building. Monks in their specific practice mitigate touch prayer beads to minimize “thinking.” For us, just tie the squeezes to your natural breath. Release when the body informs you with a gentle inclination that you should. Trying to get things “just so” is also an activation that can take away from your state. Close enough is better than being exact.

On the out-breath, we are biologically wired to relax. This is why it’s preferable. The many breathing muscles absolutely have to relax for breath to work, and the rest of the body jumps on the relaxing bandwagon. In-breath requires tensing muscles to lift the chest and it also tenses to anchor parts of your skeleton so the lifting parts can move right.

The breaths between squeezes are functionally important. It draws out the process so your body more acclimatizes to softer levels. It also allows space for the unconscious to do stuff easier behind the scenes. To help this out, don’t count the breaths. You’ll get a sense to move on without that.

(Step #2): Now, Squeeze it with 1/2 as much force (50% total). Then full release. Breathe. Repeat this step 3x.

It’s interesting to note that people vary wildly at what is 1/2 as much force. They are really all over the place. And that really doesn’t matter one bit. In this, the only thing that matters is softening more and more.

(Step #3): Squeeze again 1/2 as much force (25% total). Then full release. Then continue 1/2 as much all the way down: 12%, 6%, 3%, 1%. Breathe between each level. Then repeat this step 3x.

(Step #4): Now squeeze as gently as possible. Release. Breathe. Repeat 3x.

This is where things can get really interesting. This is where you grow. We are now at the threshold of your capability. In a moment, we’re about to go beyond it.

By this point, your conscious force upon the body should be incredibly subdued. As you spend time in these more translucent states, they can become more baseline for you. Life becomes more peaceful. And without the consciousness shouting over everything else, you’ll better hear the symphony in your body and harmonize to it. Without the forceful pushing about that the conscious is accustomed to, sleep can come much more readily, even for insomniacs.

(Step #5): Now squeeze again half as much as that. Release. Breathe. Repeat 3x.

You have now crossed the threshold of your past abilities. You are now on the open unexplored frontiers of Self. There is so much discover here. For the purposes of this practice, discover how soft you can get. As a side effect, incredible peace can result and sleep often happens as a happy happenstance.

(Step #1): *Imagine* squeezing the thumb, and use 100% mental force to do it. Then fully release on the out-breath. Take a few breathes. Repeat 3x.

Really grind those gears! Imagine vehemently.

And wow what a difference from where you were a moment ago. Use this jump to highlight how soft you had gotten. After a couple fingers, I see people think they are going full blast mentally, but it’s much more soft compared to their first full blast mental force.

Another thing I notice is how much people’s flesh gets involved, at first. By this i mean furrowing the brow, tensing the face, etc. It’s like a damn breaks and there are crashing electrical stimuli chaotically bursting down muscle pathways. And isn’t that so interesting because if you purely imagine, the muscles shouldn’t activate like that (to that degree). Insomniacs, would it help your situation to be able think without lighting your nervous system up like a Christmas tree?

(Step #2): Imagine squeezing with 1/2 as much mental force (50% total). Release. Breathe. Repeat 3x.

Again, you can be pretty loose with how much force is dropped. It only really matters that you drop a significant amount and keep doing so each level all the way down.

(Step #3): Continue imagining the squeeze with 1/2 as much mental force from 25% down to 1%.  Release and breathe after each. Repeat each level 3x before going to the next.

(Step #4): Imagine squeezing with the most gentlest mental force imaginable. Release. Breathe. Repeat 3x.

We are again at the threshold of your capability, kind of. Of course you can go lower than this, and we’ll prove that in just moment. But isn’t it interesting how poorly people guess where their softest is? It may be that we need to ping that spot first in order to get beyond it.

(Step #5): Now squeeze with half of that. Release. Repeat 3x.

You can do as many as you like here, once you get the gist of the practice. Keep getting softer each time, best you can. You’ll find you hit a bedrock level, and it’s fine to just hang out at that level for a bit not doing anything in particular.

(Step #1): And now imagine a butterfly in the air that floats down and lands on your finger.

We enter the land of imagery. By now, you are certainly in a trance state (if you are doing this without breaking state to look at instructions or whatnot). So let’s use it for some gentle self-hypnosis.

(Step #2): Feel the lightness, it’s little body, and imagine how it experiences itself. Explore any other aspects of the butterfly.

Explore the butterfly by not searching or looking for anything (mental activation). Just let the aspects occur to you. This is very important. If you can learn this skill and take it to the outside world, it can be to great benefit.

(Step #3): It gently flies up. Notice the subtle shift in your finger. It flies around your head a few times. Then it flies off into the distance, disappearing. Watch it go, smaller and smaller, till it’s imperceptible and just gone.

This is some standard hypnotic imagery. I won’t explain too much here. Just enjoy and experience.

(Step #1): Repeat the whole process above on the next finger. This includes Softening the Mind, Softening the Body, and The Butterfly.

On the next finger, many people are surprised at how jarring the physical force is. That means you’re doing good practice.

Play with separating physical activation from mental force and also separating mental activation from physical force. They are likely intrinsically tied together, so this is more about the ratio they intervene upon each other. Play and discover.

Keep softening.
Soon you’ll immerse into your body or blend yourself right into sleep.